Lifted

Well, I seem to be mostly out of my overly cynical view of humanity slump(for the time being). For as long as I can remember i have gone through these periods of time when I feel the need to deconstruct and rip apart any hope or faith I have in fellow humans. I suppose if I really wanted these ‘fits’ to stop I could get on a prescription for xanax or some other mind numbing drug, but I don’t see that ever happening. So I’ll just suck it up and bitch about it until it finally subsides.

There’s nothing like a healthy dose of reality to kick some one’s ass in to creating.

I watched a John Waters documentary last night, the thing that always inspires me about these people is that they always just did their own thing. They disregarded all the people saying ’you can’t do that’ and just did it, usually on basically no money and very little support from whatever industry they were in. I’ve been working on listening to people less about how they think I should be conducting myself as far as art is concerned. The fact of the matter is, I’ll do it how and when I want to do it, and if I never end up doing it, well then, I guess I never really wanted it.
I’m ’uneducated’, have no funding, no representation, a very limited knowledge of the industry, and a relatively small studio to work in, I don’t really care about any of this. The point is I’ve been consistently making art my whole life, I’ve developed my own style over the years and i don’t see myself quitting anytime soon. This is what I was born to do, this is all I like doing, this is my idea of a good time. I am honored to call myself an artist, and I feel confident enough to give myself the title. I also feel quite lucky that I have enough supportive people around me to encourage this impossible feat. They’re the light at the end of the tunnel...

More frustrations

It’s really amazing to me how anyone can look at the human race and regard it as anything more than being stupid animals... More then likely the least intelligent on the planet.
We had such potential, how did we manage to fuck it up so badly?!
I mean this is absolutely ridiculous! Every time I turn my head I see greedy consumerism at it’s finest, and the sad part is, I feel like I’m a part of it. I don’t know how it’s possible to escape... I’m lost in it and I don’t know how it happened... I feel like I never had a choice in it.

One of the things that seems to be plaguing the human race with ignorance and apathy is religion. I can’t find a single reason (other than a simple ignorant and inadvertently safe stance) to believe in some mysterious white bearded man in the clouds, commanding and demanding useless and absurd morals that obviously conflict with our core nature. I’m also not okay with the fact that most of America believe in these blatant mythological dogmas and base our educational and political systems on them.
I’m a self proclaimed ‘recovering Christian’, I was raised with impossible beliefs and made to believe in impossible stories. Fortunately enough for me I got fed up with the contradictions and nasty rhetoric of said beliefs, and decided to simply question. I found out that disbelief is freedom. That’s not to say I walk around with no morals or ethics, on the contrary, I believe in those things very deeply. The difference is, I don’t have to slink through my days trying to live up to impossible standards believing in fairytales and violent unforgiving forces. Not to mention I’m just not that into being judgmental on people who don’t share my exact beliefs. The whole thing has turned into a hateful man made excuse to judge and torment. I HATE IT!

Enough of that for some mintues. I’ve been making decent headway on the body casting project. There’s a lot of messy sanding involved and very detailed chiseling. I will admit I’m having a lot of fun with it, I can’t wait to start working on the installations.

The beginning

I’ve finally started body casting, and will be making two large installations (along with smaller sculpture pieces, incorporating body casting). This has been a long time coming, and I am ridiculously excited about it.

I guess I should back track a bit. About two years ago I was offered an enormous space to have an art show in, and since I am in no way shape or form at a professional artist it has taken me what seems like an eternity to get any sort of a decent body of work together. I have no formal training and have learned through pure observation and ‘intuitive’ feeling. I like to base majority of my work off of the observation of psychology and common human threads of thought and reaction.
I’m some what bitter towards the art world already and have a generally cynical out look on it. From the hand full of shows I’ve had I’ve experienced nothing but incompetent self important assholes! I don’t know how many people in the art world really truly care about the art... maybe some of them do, all I can ascertain through my own experiences is that the whole thing is shallow and obnoxious. I can hardly even stand going to art shows anymore, I hate the scenesters, the style, the attitudes, the pointless song and dance. I like purity, I crave it, I insist on it. Integrity seems to be a fleeting thing, something lost in all the talk. When I go to an art show or when I have my own I want actual conversation, I want fire through thought.
Of course this is more than I could actually ask for... I’m well aware of that, and have relatively come to terms with it. If I can’t have that then I’ll at least try to have one hell of a show on my own. No middle men, no curators, no one in charge of it but me.

I guess this blog will mostly be for myself, tracking my headway and all that sort of thing. Getting my thoughts out and down has always been an important part of the creative process for me.